Cold hands, warm shart.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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