You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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