So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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