I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
