i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
