We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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