Whod you bang
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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