Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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