Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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