you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
