OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
