Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
