So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
