they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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