I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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