ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
