you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Your penis caused this!
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