she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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