Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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