cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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