absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
