I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Green mimosas i think yes
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
