is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
