i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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