Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
