I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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