Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
