break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Randomize
