People in love make me want to vomit
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
