But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
