Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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