1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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