the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
