Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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