I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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