last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
