omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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