she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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