there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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