Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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