ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
