your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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