Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's rum buckets o'clock
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
