i was rollin on her like bob the builder
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
