so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
