is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Still dying that you shit outside
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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