We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We need a shit load of segways right now
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
