After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
