Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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