he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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