I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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