Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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