dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
