Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
