So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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