I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I could fuck to npr.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
